


Away From Here

by dirrrk



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Big Bang Challenge, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 09:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirrrk/pseuds/dirrrk
Summary: Todd Brotzman: a self-pitying, struggling little cinnamon roll of a university student. Dirk Gently: the new dorm room neighbour who is little too eager to be his friend for Todd to feel completely comfortable with.There's something weird about Dirk though, something that's not quite normal, and Todd doesn't really care, except that he does. Enough to let Dirk slowly worm his way into Todd's life with his sugary teas and astounding ignorance of classic films.Amanda is cool, Farah is badass.Everything will be fine. Probably.





	Away From Here

“You're a piece of shit, come back and visit me.”

Todd sighed, scanning his small dorm room for his coat, phone pressed to his ear.

“It's only been like, a month,” he replied, finally spotting his tatty jacket and attempting to put it on with one hand.

“It's boring without you here,” said his sister.

“Yeah, well, deal with it.”

“How’s classes?”

“Boring,” he said, repeating her use of the word. “Why did I choose English Lit?”

“Because mum and dad are paying for it, that’s why.”

It was said as a funny, throwaway comment. But the reality and truth of it sat heavily in his stomach.

University was equally the best, and worst, thing that had happened to Todd. He was happy to be away from home for the first time in his life, finally he had independence, but he was honestly surprised he had even made it this far, and, as he expected, he was struggling with the amount of work that was already piling up.

After ending the call with Amanda, he left for his first lecture of the day, closing the door that consequently blissfully hid the pile of unorganised essay introductions and academic texts. Out of sight, out of mind.

Without looking up he started walking down the corridor, abruptly bumping into someone who was standing outside the neighbouring dorm room door.

“Oh, sorry,” mumbled Todd, briefly looking up at the guy-shit that's a bright jacket-before hastily moving on.

“That's quite alright,” was the cheery-very cheery-reply. “I've just moved in. My name is Dirk Gently.” Also very British.

Todd stopped, realising he was now being pulled into a conversation with another human. Something that was usually best left avoided.

“Right,” said Todd, nodding slightly.

The man threw a huge grin at him, it was almost painful to look at, as if it were literal sunshine beaming from his face. It was a nice face though, an evil part of Todd’s brain reasoned. A nice face with brown hair flopping softly down onto his forehead, where his eyebrows were raised in delight.

“Bit late, aren't you?” asked Todd, filling the now awkward quiet, and gesturing vaguely to the singular brown moving box just inside the doorway.

“Right, yes,” said Dirk Gently, nodding frantically. “A mix-up, of sorts. You know how it is. This and that, and such things.”

“Right,” repeated Todd, slowing taking a step back towards his initial route. “I better get going. Lecture.”

“Of course,” Dirk called after him. “It was lovely to meet you!”

Todd threw a tight smile over his shoulder, walking with a quick pace away from the suspiciously happy man. No one should be that happy, it was disconcerting.

The lecture was long, and Todd hadn't made nearly as many notes as the girl sitting next to him. There was an uncomfortable lump in his throat at the thought that perhaps he didn’t quite keep up with the lecturer’s tumbling and in-depth sentences.

His body felt rather heavy and sedated, as he made his way back to his dorm. Past the groups of students chatting in the corridors. Past the classrooms with lessons and study groups. He didn't let himself look out the windows at the people doubtlessly enjoying the last rays of sun cutting through the chilly October air. Probably lying on the grass with books from classes they really enjoyed.

So fully caught up into his own thoughts, that were somehow both panicked and lethargic, he didn't even hear the voice calling to him as he approached his door.

A hand waved in front of his vision as he fumbled with his keys, making him jump.

“Hello,” said Dirk, his smile just as blinding as before.

“Oh, hi,” replied Todd, coughing lightly in an attempt to rid himself of the uncomfortable lump in his throat.

“You don't seem awfully happy,” noted Dirk. Very direct.

“I don't really see how that's your business,” said Todd, quietly but clearly, finally getting his door open. He knew he was an awful person for being so rude. Todd was well aware of his shitty nature. It had got to the point of no return, really. If there were no expectations from him, then he couldn't disappoint anyone. Academically, or socially. 

“Would you like a cup of tea?” asked Dirk now, apparently oblivious to Todd's blunt response. “I find that always cheers me up.”

“Look,” said Todd sharply, turning to face Dirk properly now. “I just want to be on my own right now, okay?”

“I completely understand,” said Dirk with an overly-serious nod. “I often feel the same way.”

Todd doubted this very much, but offered a nod of his own in return, before walking into his room and shutting his door firmly behind him.

He sank down face-first onto his unmade bed. He should probably do some work before his afternoon class. This was, realistically, an unlikely thing to happen. He would probably nap and forget to set an alarm and end up late to his class. It was an inevitability so Todd decided to accept it.

Todd wasn't sure how long he'd listlessly been lying there before there was a knock on his door.

“I swear to fuck, if this is Dirk Gently, I'm going to scream,” mumbled Todd under his breath as he shuffled his way to the door. He opened it, impatient scowl already in place, to find...no one.

“Oh for f-” he started to say before he noticed something on the ground.

It was large blue mug of milky brown liquid, steam circling slowly up from it. Todd was floored for a good minute, staring silently at the unsuspecting object.

“Right,” he said, running his hand through his hair before crouching to pick it up, the ceramic hot under his fingers. He turned slowly, shutting his door again. Softer this time.

“Right,” he repeated, for what seemed like the hundredth time today. “This is...yes...err...”

He took a tentative sip.

It was pretty gross.

Todd had never been a fan of tea. And this cup had too much sugar in it.

He took it back to his bed, sitting on the edge with the mug cradled in both hands.

He drank all of it. The warm liquid settled comfortably in his stomach, like a soft blanket on a chilly evening.

-

The week went on.

Papers and books piled up steadily on Todd's desk, some falling to the floor just to be left. The work that Todd did attempt was on crumpled and coffee-stained paper. His lectures and classes were unwelcome and difficult. The assigned reading list was uninspiring and long, filled with Shakespeares and other classics that were supposed to be better than modern literature.

And then there was Dirk Gently. The cup of tea was never mentioned, the empty mug having been deposited back outside Dirk's door and assumably returned to the owner, as it was gone the next time Todd left his room.

He was always there, with a wave and a delighted smile, as though he and Todd had been friends for years. It was becoming a rather stressful experience, just leaving his room every morning. Todd knew it was mean to try and actively avoid him, but hey, Todd knew he was mean.

Friday evening arrived. Todd was dreading the weekend. There would be nothing to distract him from the now ridiculous mountain of work he had yet to start climbing. He was returning from the library, a half-hearted attempt of a late-night study in which he actually managed to finish an essay, when he, once again, as it always was, bumped into Dirk Gently.

“Sorry,” said Todd with a great sigh, preparing himself for the onslaught of bubbliness that was undoubtedly coming his way.

“Oh, Todd, hi,” said Dirk, genuine surprise on his features. “I didn't realise you would still be up. Up and about, I mean.”

“You okay?” Todd found himself asking, taking in the other man properly. He was wearing his jacket and shoes, having obviously just left his room. Dirk seemed uneasy, glancing repeatedly behind Todd to the end of the corridor.

“Perfectly,” replied Dirk with a small cough. “I'm just, popping out. Visiting my parents. They like for me to come home at the weekends.”

“You don't...have a bag with you,” said Todd, eyebrows drawn together with suspicion.

“Don't I?” said Dirk quickly, looking down at his empty hands. “Silly me, I must have left it in my room.” He forced a chuckle. “I better...better go back in and get it. Anyway, I'll see you on Monday, Todd.”

With that Dirk swung his body around, opening his door and disappearing from view. Todd stared at the door for a moment, a little thrown by what had just happened. He shook his head slightly before entering his own room, he was a weird guy, he reasoned. Weird guys did weird things.

-

Dirk was indeed absent for the whole weekend, reappearing Monday afternoon. At Todd's door. With another cup of tea.

“Oh, hi, Dirk.”

“I realise your weekend must have been terribly boring without me,” said Dirk, pushing the mug into Todd's hand before marching into the room and, realising the desk chair was covered in clothes, making himself comfortable on the edge of Todd's bed.

“Thank you,” said Todd, automatically.

“For what?”

“The-the tea,” replied Todd, gesturing with the mug.

“Oh! Yes, well,” Dirk mumbled with a small smile and shrug.

“Er, why are you in my room?” Todd now asked, coming to his senses and closing the door that Dirk had left wide open.

“Well, I've haven't seen it properly yet,” said Dirk, as though this was the most obvious thing in the world. “And I really thought I ought to, seeing as we're friends and all.”

“Friends?” repeated Todd, setting the mug down on the edge of his desk, noticing how Dirk's eyes followed this movement.

“Yes, I would say so, wouldn't you?” Before Todd could answer, Dirk continued, “Don't you like the tea?”

“Er, no, it's great,” lied Todd, not bothering to pick up the mug to emphasise the point. “I really do have lots of work to do-”

“Yes, I noticed,” interrupted Dirk, standing again to make his way over to the desk. He picked up the top piece of paper on the haphazard tower of work. “What is it you study?”

“English Lit. I don't really like it,” admitted Todd, taking the paper from Dirk's hand and putting it back on his desk.

“Then why do you do it?”

“It was my best subject at school. My parents said it would be for the best.”

“I'm on the maths course,” said Dirk. This conversation was becoming more and more stilted and Todd was itching to ask him to leave. Dirk looked up from the desk to look Todd in the eyes, a small, secret smile playing across his face. “I don't like it very much either.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“Someone told me it would be a good idea.”

Todd wasn't sure why, but Dirk's little admission resonated with him. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to have a sort-of-friend-person in his life.

-

The next time Todd saw Dirk was in the library.

Todd was having a fairly good day. The lecture was more interesting than usual and he had made a good start on the required book for the next set of essays. With more days like this Todd could perhaps tolerate his situation.

“What are you reading?”

Todd looked up to the now-familiar bright face of Dirk Gently, who had now sat down and was leaning across the table as though about to share a secret.

“Oliver Twist,” said Todd, showing Dirk the cover of the book.

“What is it about?” asked Dirk eagerly, leaning even closer.

“You don't know?” Todd now said in surprise. “You've never even seen the film?”

“No,” replied Dirk, unphased. “Tell me.”

“Well, this is the first time I've actually read the book,” admitted Todd, “but it's Charles Dickens' most famous one, so I guess I assumed most people were at least familiar with it.”

“Who's Charles Dickens?”

Todd frowned at Dirk, trying to understand if this was a joke or not. Most people knew who Charles Dickens was, right? Perhaps Dirk had been homeschooled, or something. He definitely didn’t seem to be joking, anyway.

Before Todd could reply a figure approached the table. A tall woman in a fairly formal outfit, suggesting she was probably one of the teachers.

“Mr. Gently,” she said sternly. Todd didn't miss the flash of fear to flicker across Dirk's face as he looked up at the woman. “The headmaster needs to talk to you.”

Dirk stood, nodding, wide eyed. He cast one last look at Todd, gave him a small wave, before following the woman out of the library.

That was weird. How many weird things needed to happen before Todd was supposed to be suspicious? Todd stared down at his book, trying to concentrate on the words. Why had Dirk looked scared? Had he done something wrong? Dirk didn't strike Todd as the rebellious type.

Anyway, what did Todd care? They weren't exactly friends, he had only known the guy for a little over a week. The thought comforted Todd slightly, it wasn't his problem what Dirk was up to. He set himself a goal of one more chapter before heading back to his dorm, he didn't want to lose this sudden and rare motivation.

Todd didn't see Dirk for the rest of the day. His dorm room was closed when Todd passed it. Todd made himself not care, pushing the clothes off his desk chair so he could sit and watch a film on his laptop with his tepid meal that he had carried from the communal canteen downstairs.

-

“I was thinking,” announced Dirk, knocking on his door on the Thursday evening, a couple of textbooks under his arm, “we should probably do some studying together.”

“What? Why?” retorted Todd immediately, looking on with dismay as Dirk pushed his way in and sat cross-legged on his dorm room floor, spreading his books out in front of him.

“Well,” started Dirk, looking up at Todd, “It is obvious you don't actually do very much of it, or at least not as much as you should. And my own work is so incredibly tedious I think I could actually, and probably, die from boredom, so it would be to our mutual advantage to encourage each other in our respective academic endeavours, as it were.”

Todd looked down at Dirk's now-open textbooks. It did, actually, look like hell on earth, on a page.

“How can there be more letters than numbers in a maths book?” said Todd, wide-eyed and horrified.

“I know,” agreed Dirk. “As I said, this may actually kill me.”

It was a weird juxtaposition to see Dirk Gently and a degree-level maths textbook. They were so different in so many ways, and he obviously didn't enjoy the subject. Perhaps it was his parents that had pushed the subject onto him.

Whatever the reason, Todd now realised that he should probably get his own work out. There was no use protesting against Dirk's presence, and he really could benefit from the use of a motivated study partner.

He sat himself down at his desk, pushing away the empty mugs and irrelevant papers to clear space for his old laptop. As the thing whirred to life, Todd turned his head to watch Dirk. He was now chewing on the end of a pencil, eyebrows drawn together pitifully as he stared down at the textbook.

Soon the only noise in the room was the clunky tapping from Todd's keyboard as he typed out some relevant quotes from Oliver Twist that would assist his new essay title.

Surprisingly, Todd grew completely engrossed in his work, forgetting everything else around him. It was just him and his laptop, which was now starting to overheat, but even the noise of the computer's fans didn't distract him.

“I'm bored,” said Dirk suddenly, which made Todd jump slightly.

Todd turned to look at the other guy. Dirk was now sprawled on his back across the floor. Todd didn't know how long he had been like that.

Todd checked the time.

“Should we go and get some dinner?” suggested Todd, hitting save on his laptop before sitting back in his chair and rubbing his face.

“Ooh, yes!” exclaimed Dirk, sitting back up. His hair, which was usually neatly parted and combed, was currently in disarray, sticking up at angles from where he had been lying down. Todd wasn't sure why, but he couldn't stop looking at it. It looked...nice.

Dirk had jumped up.

“I wonder what they're serving in the canteen,” said Dirk, looking at his reflection in Todd's window to smooth his hair down. “I can't believe it's a different thing every day, how exciting is that?” Dirk had now turned to Todd, mouth pressed together in excitement.

“Well yeah,” said Todd, standing and stretching his shoulders a bit, “It's a canteen, that's what they're meant to do.”

“Right, yes, of course,” agreed Dirk quickly and seriously, as thought it was foolish of him to think any different.

It was lasagne, as it turned out.

“I love lasagne,” breathed Dirk softly, looking in awe at the industrial-sized tray of it in front of them.

“Come on, let's bring it back up to the dorms,” said Todd once they had received their food, looking around at the busy canteen. “We can watch a film or something.”

Dirk's eyes widened in what can only be described as pure delight, perhaps mixed in with slight disbelief. He checked over his shoulder quickly before replying.

“I would love that,” he said in a hushed voice, leaning close to Todd as he said that.

“Okay,” said Todd, leaning back slightly. “That's totally fine, dude, you don't have to be weird about it.”

They sat side-by-side on Todd's bed, backs against the wall, and Todd's laptop between them. Their plates were hot on their laps as Todd chose a film at random to watch.

“Have you seen Star Wars?” asked Todd, taking a bite of his food as the music started.

Dirk shook his head, also taking a bite of his food. “Star Wars,” he repeated, as the yellow letters came up on the screen.

This guy was so fucking weird, thought Todd, smiling a little and focusing back on the film.

-

Todd didn't see Dirk for any of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He had probably gone home to his parents again. He must get along with them, thought Todd, if he goes home every weekend.

Now Todd felt bad. Perhaps he should go home as well. Or at least call. Amanda was probably, almost definitely, pissed at him.

Instead Todd spent the weekend in an unhealthy balance of essay writing and coffee drinking. He was still somewhat behind, but he was proud of the progress he had made. Maybe he would be okay after all.

On Monday evening came a now-fairly-reoccurring knock on his door. Dirk must be back from his parents', thought Todd, surprised to find himself pleased at the thought.

“Can we watch Star Wars again?” was the first thing to come out of Dirk's mouth.

“Uh, yeah,” said Todd, letting Dirk in. “We can watch the next one if you want?”

“There's another one?!” replied Dirk, turning sharply to gape at Todd.

“Yeah,” said Todd. “You didn't think they would leave it like that?”

“I have no idea, Todd, but I am eager to discover what happens to Luke Skyrunner,” Dirk exclaimed, his voice high-pitched in his excitement.

“Skywalker,” corrected Todd with huff that was possibly, maybe, a small laugh.

They were halfway through the film when Todd noticed that Dirk had fallen asleep, his head lolling back against the hard brick wall that they were leant against.

“Hey, man,” said Todd, kicking Dirk's leg. “I thought you wanted to watch this.”

Dirk woke up sharply at Todd's touch, his body going rigid as he sat up straight.

“Todd,” said Dirk, focusing on him and relaxing. “Sorry, I'm a bit knackered.”

“That's cool,” replied Todd with a small frown. “We can watch the end of the film another time.”

“No no,” Dirk said hastily, shaking his head and leaning back against the wall once more. “I want to see it.”

“Okay, if you're sure...”

Dirk did actually dose off a couple more times before the end of the film, but Todd pretended not to notice. He woke up just in time for the ending credits.

“We should probably see that one again at some point,” said Dirk, his voice slightly gruff from sleep. “Just to clear some things up, you understand.”

Todd nodded, “Sure.”

“I should probably go back to my room now,” said Dirk, completely lacking in the enthusiasm that was usually present in his voice and general demeanour.

Todd remembered the small box that Amanda had given him before he left for university, along with the parting words: “Trust me, bro, you'll need this.”

“Hey, Dirk,” said Todd, not quite sure how to broach this particular subject. He wasn't even sure why he was broaching it at all in the first place.

“Hmm?” Dirk responded vaguely, turning his head to Todd.

“Do you...smoke?”

“Smoke?”

“Yeah, like,” Todd paused. “Like jay, pot, you know.”

“Pot? A pot of what?”

“No,” Todd paused to sigh. “Weed,” he said bluntly.

“I don't know what that is,” said Dirk with such an honesty, that Todd didn't even think he was joking.

“Seriously?”

“What is it?” asked Dirk. “Do you smoke it? Smoking is bad for you.” The last sentence was said automatically, almost robotically, like someone had told Dirk to repeat it back to them.

“I mean, technically it's a drug,” Todd tried to explain, but by the look of alarm on Dirk's face he continued hastily, “But not a proper one. It's literally just a plant. It's not even bad for you. It will make you feel a little bit fuzzy, it's really nice and calming, and it wears off pretty quick.”

“You want me...to take this drug?” Dirk asked cautiously. Jesus, what on earth were his parents teaching this poor guy.

“No, Dirk,” said Todd slowly. “I'm asking if you want to. I don't care if you do it or not.”

“You don't?”

“No,” Todd now said with an exasperated and amused huff. “I wouldn't ever force you to do anything, dude. It's up to you if you want it.”

“It's up to me?” Dirk repeated.

“Of course it is.”

Dirk hesitated, before his usual wide smile was back across his face. “I have decided I would like to try it.”

“Cool,” was all Todd said, smiling back at the guy.

-

Their shoulders were pressed together as they both leant out of Todd's window, having pushed the bed under it so they could kneel comfortably.

“You gotta inhale,” said Todd, demonstrating with the joint to his lips, “and then inhale again,” said Todd without breathing the smoke out, “so it goes right into your lungs.”

He breathed out, the smoke curling from his lips and getting lost in the night air. Dirk was studying him closely. Todd was very aware of how physically close they were to each other in that moment.

He passed the joint to Dirk.

“Thank you,” mumbled Dirk, taking it and staring at it for a moment, before bring it to his mouth and inhaling. It was awkward, and the look on Dirk's face was funny, but he didn't cough.

“Do you feel anything?” asked Todd. Dirk shook his head. “Take another toke, if you want.”

They passed the joint between them, looking out at the empty uni campus beneath them. There was too much light pollution to see the stars, which was just as well, really. This was cliché enough.

“I feel...dizzy,” said Dirk with a dopey smile. “It's a nice dizzy though.”

“Yeah?”

Dirk nodded, sitting back on his heels and looking out to the sky. Todd watched him, aware that the joint had gone out where he was holding it between his fingers. A sharp breeze blew in through the window, getting caught in Dirk's soft brown hair and waving it gently, letting it brush against his forehead.

Todd sat back as well, placing the joint carefully on his bedpost. That was probably enough anyway, for Dirk's first time.

It didn't matter how little they knew about each other. Not in that moment. They were just two people, living in that exact moment, and nothing else mattered.

-

Todd was starting to recognise people in his class now. Which was nice, sort of. He had sussed out who were the quiet ones, and tended to sit with them. To avoid unnecessary conversation. This was all working just fine, until a group project was announced.

“Seriously?” muttered Todd under his breath, he thought the days of group projects were behind him.

The teacher prattled on about the importance of approaching questions as a team, and what various different minds can achieve when working together. As if that wasn't bad enough she then chose the groups for them.

“I have attempted to put you with people who are at the same level of learning as you are, so no one should be complaining,” they explained from the front of the room.

Great, thought Todd. He was obviously one of the losers, and now he would be working with all the other losers in the class.

It turned out that Todd was actually the biggest loser, as the rest of his group were far more productive and excited about this than was reasonable.

“So we will take turns hosting the study group, agreed?” said one of the girls, taking lead. Her hair was pulled into a bun on the top of her head that was almost as big as her actual head. Todd couldn't stop staring, how was it staying up?

“You can go first, Todd,” the girl continued.

“Sure,” replied Todd, wishing there was a polite way to say fuck no.

“Great.”

-

“You're room is very messy,” said the girl as she arrived at Todd's dorm. The bun girl. Her name was Paula apparently.

“Oh,” was all Todd said. He had actually cleaned in a vague attempt of preparation. “Sorry.”

“It doesn't matter,” Paula said, standing awkwardly in the middle of his room. “I have four brothers, so I'm used to it.”

Why was messiness always attributed to guys? Todd thought bitterly. Then he noticed a dirty sock under his bed.

The others arrived soon after, and all five of them were sat in a circle on Todd's floor. This did not give them a lot of space and they kept bumping knees and elbows. How did this happen, thought Todd. Why were all these people in his sacred space.

“This is bullshit,” announced one of the guys, Jack, if Todd remembered correctly. He was a big guy, and had introduced himself as the captain of the uni football team when he had first met Todd.

“No,” retorted Paula, “this is Shakespeare.”

“Same thing, right?” said Jack, smirking at Todd. Todd frowned at him, when did this guy decide they were somehow on the same side here?

Then came a knock on the door. Not now, thought Todd with a grimace.

Why did life insist on putting so many people in it.

Todd got up and answered it, letting Dirk Gently bounce into the room, before stopping in his tracks at the sight of the study group. They had all turned and were looking up at Dirk, mostly with intrigue.

Dirk's face was alight with excitement. “People!” he declared with joy.

“Dirk,” said Todd, trying to rein him in a little. “We're just studying for our group project thingy, it's really boring, I'll see you later, yeah?” This was all said rather hastily, Todd still holding the door open.

“I could help?” suggested Dirk, not at all phased by Todd's bluntness.

“I really don't think-” Todd started to say, before he was interrupted by Paula.

“Are you a fan of Shakespeare?”

“Who?”

“Okay!” said Todd loudly, pulling Dirk out of the room and into the corridor.

“Hey, man,” said Dirk, a little disgruntled now.

“Please just let me get this study group thing over with,” pleaded Todd. “I promise we can hang out later, okay?”

“Okay,” repeated Dirk, eyes narrowed. “But remember you promised.”

“Yes, yes,” agreed Todd, nodding and backing back into his room, closing the door on the smile that had returned to Dirk's face.

“What a weirdo,” said Jack, the footballer, with a dramatic eye roll.

This was the point that Todd should have probably stood up for his sort-of friend. But Todd just shot him a frown, before sitting back down and picking his book up. The sooner this was over with, the better.

-

A few weeks had passed now, since the arrival of his new neighbour, and Todd still couldn't put a finger on what exactly was so weird about Dirk Gently. He had disappeared every weekend, to visit his parents, he said. Todd felt like he was missing something obvious.

Why did Dirk have such limited knowledge about basic literature and pop culture, and yet clever enough to be taking a Maths degree? It made no sense, and it was infuriating that Todd couldn't stop thinking about it. People were weird, he wanted to just let that be it. But there was something about Dirk Gently.

Something.

-

It was one of those bad days. Everything was going wrong.

Todd had received a low mark on something he had actually tried really hard on, the essay he had written on Oliver Twist, the one he had been actually proud of. What was the point? What was the point of trying if it did fuck all.

Then his mother had rung.

After a long, frustrating conversation about Todd's current financial and emotional situation and general future plans, Todd felt drained. Ready to either hit something, or sleep. Whichever happened first.

“Todd!” called a familiar, British voice.

Todd hadn't closed his door properly, just pushed it to, so Dirk came bounding in without knocking. Todd looked up from where he was sitting on the floor, leant against the bedpost.

“Are you alright down there?” asked Dirk jovially, bending down slightly, just inside Todd's personal space.

“I'm really not in the mood, Dirk,” mumbled Todd, looking down at his phone, still warm from where it had been pressed against his ear.

“That's alright,” replied Dirk, straightening up now, “Luckily I am and-”

“Dirk!” said Todd curtly, louder than before. “Please leave me alone.”

“I'm just trying to help,” countered Dirk, “That's what friends are for.”

“Just leave me alone, I'm serious, Dirk.”

“Maybe I should just sit here quietly?”

“Get out!” Todd was now standing. There were noises in his head, swirling noises that weren't real. He couldn't think clearly.

“Todd, I'm sorry, I'll go-”

“Get out, get out, get out!” Todd moved forwards, to push Dirk, maybe, he wasn't sure.

Todd didn't push Dirk, but he moved closer, thinking Dirk would back away and out of his room. But Dirk didn't, and Todd stopped just short of touching him.

It was silent now. Todd realised just how much taller Dirk was than him, only obvious when they were this close. Dirk's eyes were widened. In fear? Todd wasn't sure. Maybe he shouldn't have shouted at him. The ringing in his ears had calmed down now, and Todd could think clearly again.

They were so close. Todd had only been this close to people he had kissed.

As that thought ran through Todd's head his heart thumped heavily in his chest, blood colouring his cheeks a faint pink. That definitely wasn't an appropriate thought.

“I'll go,” murmured Dirk, breaking the silence.

Todd didn't reply, just let Dirk turn and leave, closing the door behind him with a soft snap.

Todd would need to apologise. That wasn't a very nice thing to do and he hated how much he cared about how that had probably hurt Dirk. How had this guy wormed his way under Todd's skin? Todd was an arsehole, with no regards for other people. What made Dirk Gently so special?

-

It was a weekend, so of course, Todd had to stew in his own self-pity and guilt until Monday, when Dirk would return. Unsurprisingly, Todd got very little work done. He slept too much and threw his clothes on the floor, leaving them there to tidy up another time.

“I'm sorry,” were the first words out of Todd's mouth when Dirk answered the door.

Todd had decided to get it over and done with, stopping at Dirk's door on the way back from his Monday morning lecture. Dirk only partially opened the door, restricting Todd's view into his room. Now that he thought about it, Todd had never actually seen Dirk's room since he moved in.

“No, Todd,” replied Dirk with a solemn shake of his head. “It was my fault, I should have left you alone.”

“It's fine,” said Todd awkwardly. “I can be an arsehole sometimes. Well, actually, all of the time.”

“Well, that's definitely not true,” countered Dirk, leaning on his doorframe, a tired smile on his face. He did look tired. Todd wondered how far he had to travel to and from his parents' house.

“Do you wanna...” Todd paused, shrugging in what he hoped looked more casual than it felt, “...study together?”

“That sounds fantastic,” agreed Dirk, energy almost back to normal as he darted into his room to grab a pile of books before pushing out into the corridor and shutting his door. “Let's do it in your room, it's nicer.”

“Actually, I haven't cleaned in like-” but Todd's protests went unheard as Dirk strode ahead and into Todd's dorm.

Well, thought Todd following Dirk, at least he hadn't screwed up the only non-shit thing in his life.

-

“When will you be here on Friday?”

“I don't know, Amanda,” sighed Todd down the phone, lying on his back, on the bed that was still pushed against the wall under the only window.

“Mum wants to know if you'll be here for lunch.”

“I'll let you know when I'm on the train, that'll give you a couple of hours warning.”

“Could you sound any less excited?” drawled Amanda.

“Well, what do you want me to say?”

“It's fucking Christmas, Todd. Christmas. That's like, the best time of year.”

“Yay,” said Todd, his voice purposefully laced with nothing resembling excitement.

-

“Are you going home for Christmas?” asked Todd, looking down at the recurring sight of Dirk sprawled across his floor, textbook over his face.

Dirk pulled the book away, giving Todd a strange look. Was it, longing? Whatever it was, Todd suddenly regretted his words. Dirk never seemed too happy to be going back to his family, why should this time be any different?

“Yes,” sighed Dirk, after what felt like too long. “I suppose so.”

“You don't want to?” asked Todd, trying to keep it nonchalant. Also, when did he start to care so much?

“No, I mean, of course, it will be fun,” Dirk tripped over his words, avoiding eye contact. “Christmas.”

“I'm not too excited about it either,” confessed Todd, turning his attention back to the work on his desk, pretending not to see Dirk's small smile at his words.

-

It was the evening before Todd was due to go home, and himself and Dirk were, once again, leaning out the window, passing a joint between them and ignoring the way their fingers brushed together when they did so.

Todd had put some music on.

He had forgotten just how much he loved music. Everything made so much more sense. His fingers were itching to play, and he reminded himself to bring his guitar back with him after Christmas. It was the only thing he cared about, how foolish he had been to think he could leave it behind.

“I'll miss you when you go,” said Dirk softly, not taking his eyes away from the soft smudge of light that was the moon, hidden by dark night clouds.

Todd didn't know how to reply to that. It was a very intimate thing to announce. But, Todd figured, Dirk was just weirdly honest like that. Not realising implications, like ever.

Neither of them spoke again, just breathing a wonderful mixture of smoke and cold, winter air.

The music played quietly.

-

Christmas was always so busy. Various distant relatives coming and going and demanding information on Todd's personal life, whilst simultaneously announcing they were planning to stay the night on the sofa so they could have a drink. Would they ever leave?

So much food, why was there so much food everywhere?

His own mother had betrayed him by asking how university was going at a table-full of all the previously stated relatives and food, on Christmas Eve.

“Oh,” said Todd with an uncomfortable cough. “Well, it's going fine.”

“Working hard?” asked one of his uncles, not letting Todd reply before continuing, “I bet you are. We're all expecting great things from you.” He chuckled jovially, shoveling more food into his mouth.

“I bet there are loads of pretty girls at uni, aren't there?” said an aunt, sending a wink his way, wine glass at an alarming angle in her hand. Todd wasn't sure how to politely express his discomfort at that statement, merely grimacing and nodding vaguely.

Why, oh why, did his family have to be so cliché. So determined to watch him squirm with, to be honest, rather inappropriate questions.

It was later, after dinner, when everyone was squished into their small living room, when Amanda came over to talk to him. He was sitting in the window seat, conveniently just out of the circle of people conversing louder and louder as midnight approached.

“You doing okay?” she asked, handing him one of the two bottles of beer she had in her hands.

“Mum know you're drinking?” he shot back, insincerely, taking a grateful swig of the beer.

“What she doesn't know, won't hurt her,” replied Amanda. “Besides, it's actually legal to drink at 18 in England.”

Dirk was from England. Not that that was at all important right now.

“Tell me something about uni,” said Amanda suddenly.

“What?”

“You haven't actually said anything about it,” she continued. “You keep avoiding questions and I'm worried you're not really happy.”

“Oh,” said Todd, eloquently. “I'm fine.”

“Tell me something then. Tell me about your course, the people on your course, the people you talk to sometimes.”

“I...I'm part of a study group,” Todd started, thinking back to the grand total of three get-togethers they had had. “Which is...useful.”

“Useful,” repeated Amanda, deadpan. “Wow, sounds like you're having a riot.”

“I've got a friend,” Todd blurted out, as if to prove something. “Sort of.”

“Yeah? Well, good. I'm glad.” This was sincere, at least.

-

Todd's train was delayed because of snow. Of course. The universe just loved to hate him, he thought bitterly, jumping slightly from one foot to another to keep warm as he stood on the platform.

The train, once it had finally arrived, moved slowly along its rails, so slowly, that Todd didn't get back to the dorms until long after the sun had set. His stomach grumbled in hunger as he carried his bag and guitar case to his door. It was a comforting weight on his shoulder, the guitar. A familiarity that he was glad to have back.

“Todd!”

Ah yes, of course it wouldn't be long until he heard that voice.

“It's snowing,” exclaimed Dirk, rushing forwards, grabbing the front of Todd's jacket. “We simply have to go outside.”

“Okay, yeah, fine,” said Todd, a little woozy from Dirk being so close. “Let me just get my stuff in my room, yeah?”

All of Todd's snow-directed bitterness disappeared once he saw Dirk falling back into the snow, laughing. It probably didn't snow much in England. He wondered when Dirk had moved to America.

“Todd!” called Dirk from the ground. “Have you tried this?”

“Dirk, your clothes are going to be soaking,” said Todd, walking over to him, but refusing to join him in the snow.

Dirk was beaming, his eyes closed as small, light snowflakes landed silently on his face, in his hair, on his brilliantly blue jacket. Todd had never loved the snow more.

“I'm cold,” said Dirk from the floor.

“I'm not fucking surprised, dude,” replied Todd with a laugh. “Let's go back inside, the snow will probably be here tomorrow.”

“Probably,” mumbled Dirk, unconvinced.

Dirk eventually agreed to go inside once Todd had bribed him with Star Wars. Dirk raced off to his room to change out of his sopping wet clothes, making Todd promise not to start the film without him. Todd promised.

While Todd was setting up the film on his laptop he realised the weird way his life was changing. Kind of. It was unnerving, how much he was starting to enjoy the company of Dirk Gently, whom, in reality, he knew very little about. Contrary to what he had previously believed, Dirk was not someone you could ignore and hope to go away.

Did Dirk actually have any other friends? Why had Todd had to do all the work.

Dirk returned, changed out of his clothes and into his pyjamas. Todd stared for a moment. Why was it weird that Todd found that weird? The loose-fitting, long-sleeved top hung awkwardly across Dirk's narrow frame.

“Did you have a good Christmas, Todd?” asked Dirk, as if suddenly remembering that Christmas was a thing, crawling onto his dedicated space on Todd's bed: leaning against the wall with his socked feet hanging off the edge.

“It was okay,” replied Todd noncommittally, reaching forwards to press play on his laptop. “You?”

“It was okay.”

They didn't speak as they watched the film, something that Todd was unsurprisingly grateful for. He didn't want to talk about his Christmas. About how he missed his sister, but hated his extended family. He didn't want to talk about how he didn't feel at home, anywhere he was. Not at uni, not at his parents' house. He didn't want to talk about how he didn't have any friends, well, except for Dirk. If that even counted.

Todd wasn't surprised to see Dirk dosing off towards the end. Was this guy perpetually tired? He knew the feeling.

Todd was about to look away, to catch the end of the film, when something caught his eye.

The left sleeve of Dirk's t-shirt had ridden up to his elbow, his arm splayed out across the bed towards Todd and the laptop between them. In the light of the screen Todd could see small, round dots following the veins on the inside of Dirk's pale forearm.

Todd had seen Trainspotting, he knew what those were.

His mind reeled with what this meant. There were only two explanations for the small puncture marks: either it was a medical issue, or Dirk was on some kind of drug. But then Todd remembered the guy's reaction to weed. He hadn't even known what it was, surely that meant he wouldn't know what anything more heavy was either? Unless it was all a cover?

What if it was a medical thing? Was Dirk sick? That would explain a lot but also nothing at all.

Todd swallowed heavily, mind whirring with possibilities.

Was it self-harm? Todd didn't know enough to consider what kind of self-harm would make those marks.

Before Todd could stop himself he was reaching out, fingers hesitating just above where Dirk's arm lay. He wasn't really thinking, not even sure what touching the marks would accomplish. He should look away, wait for Dirk to wake up and pretend he hadn't seen anything. But Todd's mind didn't work like that. Rationally.

His fingers made contact with Dirk's skin.

It was warm, comforting as well as terrifying. Todd could feel the little marks under his fingers, all the way up to the crease of Dirk's elbow, where his t-shirt was crumpled up to. They probably went up further.

Todd suddenly realised what he was doing, looking up to see Dirk's eyes open. They both looked at each other with wide eyes. A moment of silence.

Dirk jerked his arm back, pulling the sleeve down and breaking the eye contact the two had shared.

“I have to go,” whispered Dirk, clumsily pulling himself together and half-running from the room. Todd's door banging shut behind him.

Shit.

-

Todd listened to Amanda talk through the speaker of his phone, reluctantly replying when necessary. He lay back on his bed, staring at the blank ceiling. He hadn't seen Dirk since the incident, two days ago now.

“Are you even listening?” asked Amanda, affronted.

“Yeah, yeah,” Todd mumbled, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I'm just tired.”

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

“Sounds like it's probably more than that,” said Amanda bluntly, her voice slightly distorted through the bad reception.

“What do you want me to say?” Todd said helplessly, wishing he could sink further into his mattress. Any form of comfort would be welcome right now.

“What's happened?”

“Nothing,” said Todd automatically. “Well, not nothing.”

There was a pause. Silence, as Amanda waited for him to elaborate.

“I think-I think I made a mistake. I think I made someone angry. At me.”

“Isn't that literally what you're always doing?” The words were harsh, but so very true.

“Amanda-”

“What I mean is,” said Amanda, hastening to clarify. “What makes this person any different?”

“I'm not sure.”

“Todd-”

“Listen, Amanda, I've got to go,” said Todd heavily. “I've got this study group thing to go to.”

“Okay, Todd,” replied Amanda, “but we need to talk about when I'm coming to visit you.”

“Sure. Bye, sis.”

Todd dropped the phone onto the bed with a sigh. He really did have the study group meeting to go to, and he really couldn't be bothered.

-

The study group was just as awful was it always was.

Jack, the footballer, was loud and brazen, as always. Making lewd comments about almost anything, but unfortunately, and surprisingly, they were always relevant. Todd had realised, that although Jack was a mostly unlikeable character within Todd's life, he was intelligent and enjoyed English as a subject. Which was more than what could be said for Todd.

Paula, her hair still in a large, precarious bun, was once again leading a group discussion. The other two girls listened attentively, making notes and helpful comments.

“So, how was your Christmas?” asked Paula once the tortuous hour was over.

Todd looked up from where he was stuffing his papers back into his tatty bag. She was smiling, her own bag slung over her shoulder.

“Oh,” replied Todd with surprise. “It was fine.”

“Yeah?” she encouraged, still smiling. “Mine was super busy. Do you want to talk more about the book over coffee, maybe?”

Todd stared at her blankly for a moment. “Erm, actually, I need to get back to my dorm. I actually need to go apologise to a friend,” blurted out Todd, once he realised he had no other excuse stored.

“Oh,” Paula said, disappointed. “Well, that's good of you.”

“Yeah.” They stood there awkwardly, before Todd nodded, saying a sharp goodbye and leaving.

Now Todd needed to actually do that. Apologise to Dirk Gently. Again. He couldn't get the look on Dirk's face out of his head. The face that Todd was so used to seeing with a bright smile. Todd needed to fix it. For once in his life, he was going to fix something that he had broken.

-

“Could I get a tea please?” asked Todd across the counter. “Lots of milk and sugar.”

The canteen had pitifully small polystyrene cups, so Todd had walked to the nearest coffee shop in the town. It was actually really nice. Todd rarely left his room, not counting lectures, and he was annoyed at himself for being surprised that the local area was actually quite lovely.

Todd paid for the drink, thanked the barista and left. The bell above the door tinkled pleasantly.

He needed to walk quickly if he wanted the tea to stay hot. Luckily the take-away cup had a lid on it, thought Todd, as he made his way quickly through the uni campus.

It wasn't until he actually reached Dirk's door that he took a proper breath. Calming himself. This wasn't weird, he reasoned, it's what friends did for each other. And Todd had had to do something. Something to stop the niggling guilt from eating away at his mind.

He knocked on the door.

Dirk opened it, eyes half-closed in that constant tiredness that was always hidden behind a happy smile.

“Todd,” he said, surprise colouring his features. “You're here.”

“I am,” agreed Todd. “I, er, got you this.”

He handed over the warm take-away cup.

“I don't have a kettle, you see,” explained Todd, unnecessarily. “So I had to...buy one. I don't know if it's the one you like, or anything, but...” Todd trailed off, not sure what he was trying to say.

Dirk's face was still frozen in disbelief, now staring at the cup he was holding between his hands.

“I'm sorry,” Todd said finally.

Dirk still didn't say anything.

“I crossed a line, I shouldn't have-” Shouldn't have what? Looked? Touched? “We don't have to talk about it. We can pretend it never happened, I'm good at doing that,” said Todd, forcing a smile through his awkwardness.

Dirk nodded, hair flopping over his forehead. “Thank you.”

“You want to come over and study?” asked Todd, extending the invitation with a more genuine smile.

“Yeah,” replied Dirk, lips pressed together, eyes alight with joy.

Todd breathed a small sigh of relief. Maybe he hadn't fucked everything up.

-

“I can't believe you're here!” exclaimed Todd with genuine happiness, pulling Amanda into his arms as soon as she got off the train.

Amanda's bags dropped to the ground as she returned the hug.

“It's only been a couple of weeks,” Amanda laughed into his shoulder.

“I know,” said Todd, letting her go and picking up her bags. “But Christmas was crazy and busy. This is going to be much better.”

Todd was in a good mood.

Amanda was here, all of Todd's essays were up-to-date and neither him nor Dirk had mentioned the incident since it happened. Todd was in a good place, and it showed, if Amanda's bright eyes were anything to go by.

“You're very upbeat,” Amanda commented, as they walked the stretch from the train station to the university campus.

“I'm having a good day,” was all Todd replied.

Amanda talked for most of the walk, and Todd was happy to let her. She talked about their parents, school and the weird gang she was apparently now a part of. Todd still wasn't sure how he felt about that. Apparently they had given her a jacket. That didn't reassure Todd really.

Of course, as soon as they reached the dorm, Dirk Gently made his presence known.

He was, of course, absolutely delighted to meet Amanda.

“You must be Todd's sister! My name is Dirk Gently, it's so nice to finally meet you.”

“Er, hi,” said Amanda, uncertainly, shaking the hand that was thrust at her. “Nice jacket.”

Dirk smiled smugly, adjusting the collar of the green jacket he wore.

“Likewise,” he replied, still beaming.

“We're going to go get a drink somewhere, aren't we Todd?” said Amanda, turning to nod at her brother. “You coming?” she asked, now directing her question to Dirk.

“Oh,” said Dirk, smile disappearing as he floundered for words. “I, er, actually need to get some work done. But thanks. Thank you.”

-

“He's a bit weird, isn't he?” said Amanda, as they collected their drinks from the bar, looking for a place to sit down. Todd had an embarrassingly limited knowledge of the local pubs and had had to google map the nearest one.

“Hm?” said Todd, although he was pretty sure he knew who his sister was referring to.

“Dirk Gently.”

“Oh,” Todd mumbled with a cough. “Yeah.”

“Seems like a cool guy though.”

“Mmhmm,” was Todd noncommittal reply, taking a gulp of his beer.

“Pretty cute, too.”

At this, Todd choked slightly on his drink.

-

Todd was happily tipsy by the time they stumbled back to the campus. The cool night air felt nice on his face after the clammy atmosphere of the uni pub.

“Let's get Dirk over,” said Amanda, twirling away from Todd's dorm room door. “Might as well, seeing as he's your only friend.”

“That was unnecessary,” retorted Todd, frowning. Ignoring the fact that this was probably (definitely) true.

They did get Dirk over, who was, unsurprisingly, thrilled to be included.

“What do you study, Dirk?” asked Amanda, only slightly slurred, as she took three bottles of beer out from under Todd's bed. How she knew they were there, Todd had no idea.

“Maths,” said Dirk, hesitantly taking the room-temperature bottle from Amanda.

Did Dirk drink? Todd had never seen him.

Dirk watched Todd and Amanda take a drink from their bottles before he took a small sip of his own.

“Ooh, maths. That sounds fun.” The sarcasm in Amanda's voice was so slight that Dirk didn't pick up on it.

“Not really,” he answered, honestly, taking another sip of tepid beer.

Todd turned the main light off, leaving his desk lamp on, and they all sat in a wonky triangle on the floor.

Amanda continued to fire questions at Dirk, who somehow managed to dodge most of them, much to the frustration of Amanda. Todd had drunk enough that he could just space out, letting the words float between the other two without having to contribute.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

This brought Todd back to earth.

Dirk blubbered out something that sounded like a no. A light flush of red had coloured his cheeks though, and he was purposefully staring down at his beer.

“Boyfriend?”

“Amanda,” Todd now intervened. “Leave the guy alone.”

Dirk shot Todd a grateful look.

“Sorry, sorry,” mumbled Amanda, reaching over to lightly punch Dirk's shoulder. “I get a bit invasive when I've had a drink.”

This was mostly a lie, Todd knew. Amanda was trying to wingman him, and it was really embarrassing.

Dirk was a lightweight, it turned out. Three beers in and he was leaning so far back against Todd's bed he might as well have been lying down. Todd watched him nod along to the quiet music Todd had put on, leaving the siblings to chat.

“-and we totally need to jam soon,” Amanda said, pausing to empty the last of her beer in her mouth. “It sucks playing by myself.”

“You used to hate it when I joined in,” Todd pointed out.

“Yeah, well, I've matured,” she said, bumping her chest with her fist before letting out a deep burp.

“Does your new gang not play any instruments?”

“Nah, but they think it's super cool that I play drums,” said Amanda, eagerly. “They live in a van.”

“What?” said Todd, frowning again. “Why?”

“I dunno,” replied Amanda, “It's pretty rad, though.”

“'Rad'?”

“I think they're running from something.”

“Jesus, Amanda-”

“It's fine, Todd,” said Amanda, drawing out 'fine' far longer than was necessary, waving her empty beer bottle at him in an attempt to placate him.

A small snore interrupted the two of them.

Todd turned to see Dirk fast asleep. Again.

“Someone can not handle their drink,” said Amanda with a giggle, taking the mostly empty bottle from Dirk's drooping hand.

“He's literally always falling asleep,” mumbled Todd, exasperated, but almost fondly.

“Is he over a lot then?” asked Amanda, feigning innocence, wide eyes inquiring.

“Shut it,” grumbled Todd.

There was a small silence, both the Brotzmans watching Dirk Gently snore peacefully.

“I guess we should get him back to his room,” said Todd, with a sigh. He was a little wobbly himself.

“Just leave him there dude,” said Amanda, stifling a yawn. “He's obviously comfortable enough to fall asleep, just leave him.”

Todd shrugged, he was too lethargic to argue now.

Todd let Amanda have the bed, only slightly begrudgingly as he stared at the carpeted floor. He took a pillow for himself and another for Dirk, shifting the other guy slightly so he was laid out flat. Todd quickly set an alarm for his Friday morning class, in case he actually could be bothered to make the effort.

He shared out the various duvets and blankets between the three of them, falling asleep almost immediately once he had made himself cosy in his makeshift bed, pretending to be completely unaware of how close his body was to Dirk's.

-

Todd woke blearily, earlier than he meant to, judging by the early morning light outside his window. The birds were chirping happily, the campus was mostly still sleepily quiet, and Dirk Gently was looking straight at him, face a mere inches away from his own.

Neither of them said a word, Todd wasn't sure why. He also wasn't sure why he felt so comfortable in that moment. This was certainly not supposed to be a comfortable situation, yet here he was, staring hazily into the eyes of his, possibly only, friend.

A quick glance up at the bed revealed Amanda to still be very much asleep, unaffected by the strip of sunshine across the bed, painting everything in a pastel hue.

His attention back to Dirk, Todd watched as the other man hesitantly reached across the small gap between them, his hand moving up to Todd's face and carefully brushing his short hair away from his face.

Todd's heart was thudding heavily, suddenly very aware of his own breathing.

Dirk pulled his hand back, burying it back under the blanket draped across his body, away from the chilly air of the badly-insulated room, but did not look away.

-

Todd hadn't realised he had fallen asleep, but when the jarring noise of his alarm brought him back to the real world, Dirk was gone. The blanket where he had been sleeping was neatly folded and placed upon the pillow he had used.

“Ugh,” groaned Amanda, pulling the duvet over her head.

Todd sat up and reached for his phone, swiping the alarm away.

His head wasn't pounding as much as he had thought it would, and he stood up with only minimal grumbling and aching. A glass of water and a quick shower almost had him feeling human again. He got dressed and brushed his teeth, staring deadpan at his reflection in the small mirror above his bathroom sink.

There were circles under his eyes. There were always circles under his eyes. He spat out the toothpaste.

“I'll see you later, Amanda,” he said softly, patting the lump of duvet that was probably Amanda's head.

“Mmph.”

-

The projected words of from the lecturer's powerpoint were swirling in front of his eyes. Maybe he was more hungover than he had previously assumed. Todd blinked heavily, looking down at his messy, disjointed notes. What was this lecture even about?

“Hey Todd,” came a cheerful voice to his left.

Todd looked up to see Paula, her bun where it always was.

“Oh, hey,” replied Todd. Had she just come in? Or had she changed seats to say hello?

“So we should hang out after this,” she said quietly, almost a whisper so that no one would hear over the lecturer's own voice.

“Er, well-”

“We need to organise the next study group,” she continued, nodding slightly which made her bun move alarmingly. “The final project is due in just a couple of weeks.”

“Right,” said Todd, glancing back to the powerpoint at the front to avoid looking her in the eyes. “Well the others need to know about that too...so, er, we should probably organise it via the facebook chat, right?”

“Oh-”

“Just so no one's left out,” said Todd hurriedly. He wasn't sure if Paula was hitting on him, or genuinely wanted to study with him. Either option was not appealing to Todd right now.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” said Paula, turning to also watch the lecture. This was now very awkward.

After the lecture ended they said bye, still awkwardly, Todd agreeing to host the next study group out of nervous guilt. She was just a friendly person, and Todd was generally a very rude person, who ruined all hopes of friendships with friendly people.

-

Dirk had already disappeared home for the weekend, Todd assumed, as he got back to his dorm to find only Amanda. She had found herself a cup of coffee and was reading through one of Todd's essays.

“Oh man, don't read that,” Todd whined, pulling it from her hands.

“It's not even that bad,” retorted Amanda, trying to grab it back. “Just a few missed commas-”

“It's only a draft,” said Todd quietly, shoving it to the bottom of the pile of papers on his desk.

They spent the rest of the day very lazily, deciding they could do stuff tomorrow as Amanda was staying until the Sunday. Amanda claimed to be severely hungover and in need of several films and several coffees.

Later that evening Todd went to fetch dinner from the canteen and Amanda rolled a joint. Todd smiled at the familiarity of the situation, comforted.

“So what's the deal with you and Dirk?” asked Amanda, passing the joint to Todd.

Their empty dinner plates were stacked precariously on top of Todd's essays, steadied only by equally empty coffee mugs. A film played softly from Todd's laptop, not loud enough to distract from conversation, unfortunately.

Todd took the roll-up, inhaling the smoke into his lungs instead of replying.

“Don't ignore me.”

Todd blew out the smoke, still not turning to look at his sister.

“What do you mean?” he said finally.

“You know,” she said, pausing to wave her hands about meaninglessly. “Does he butter your crumpets?”

Todd choked, smoke filling his nose and eyes.

“Amanda!”

She laughed, throwing her head back and her eyes alight with mirth.

“What does that even mean?” he demanded, although his mouth was turned up in a smile now, her laugh infectious.

Neither could stop laughing, their heads filled with the smoky haze and their stomachs satisfied with the warm dinner. Todd felt light-hearted, happy that he was alive and happy that his sister was here.

-

After Amanda left the week became depressingly busy. Todd hardly saw Dirk during the day, only seeing him once he had returned from the library or one of his various study groups, something Todd was still really not enjoying.

The first one of the week had been in his room, just like he had promised.

They all, once again, sat around on Todd's floor.

“Where's your friend?” asked Jack, the footballer. Todd couldn't tell if this was a jeering tease, or a genuine question, it was so hard to tell with this guy.

“Er, I dunno, in his room probably,” replied Todd, shrugging.

“You two seem...close...” said Paula, studying Todd with surprisingly accusatory eyes.

“Well, he lives just next door,” said Todd, not sure what the correct response to that was.

It was, in hindsight, unfortunate that just as the study group left, Dirk bounded out of his room to march directly into Todd's, past the group now standing silently in the hallway.

“I think we should watch another one of those Star Wars-” Dirk's voice was mostly muffled as he was inside the room and Todd was still in the corridor with the others.

“Right,” said Todd with a small cough. “I'll see you guys later.”

He didn't miss Paula's eyes following him as he turned and joined Dirk in his room.

-

Needless to say, Todd was glad when the week had trickled by into the weekend. He needed a god-damn lie in. The study group had finished their project, ready for hand-in on Monday, and Todd revelled in the rare feeling of being prepared for a deadline.

It was Saturday afternoon that Todd realised this meant he was left alone with his thoughts.

With no work, no Dirk and no Amanda, Todd was forced to think about things he was usually happy pretending weren't an issue. Things like Dirk Gently.

Damn it, his face was just so nice.

Todd grumbled some swear words into his pillow, before sitting up and rolling a joint.

-

For some, ungodly reason, Todd was awake at 6:46 on the following Monday morning. He was laid back on his unmade bedding, staring at the ceiling in the silent darkness, fully dressed in the clothes he had been wearing pretty much all weekend.

He was tired, but his eyes ached too much to keep them closed.

Todd wasn't even sure what exactly was keeping him up.

Was it the general, repetitive stress of crawling through a degree that he didn't enjoy? Was it the gnawing and growing feeling that he knew exactly why his heart beat a little but harder when a certain Brit was around? Was it the fact that he knew, without a doubt, that he was a terrible person and would probably never find success and happiness in any of his endeavours?

He lay there for a bit longer.

He was embarrassed by the amount of self-loathing he let himself indulge in. It was a vicious circle of quiet hate, and Todd didn't quite know how to break it.

Just as he wondered if it was even worth trying to get some sleep in before his Monday classes, he heard the distinct sound of soft footsteps and the light jingles of keys.

Todd glanced at his phone. It was 6:58. Was this the time that Dirk came back every weekend? Todd frowned. He had assumed the other guy usually came back late on a Sunday, or while Todd was at his Monday lectures.

Todd was instinctively up and halfway to his door before he realised what he was doing. He stopped mid-step.

Would it be weird to go see him now? Probably.

Todd stood awkwardly in the middle of his dim room for a moment, vaguely registering the light chirping from birds announcing the start of the day. It was still very early, he absolutely should let Dirk rest before going to see him. But then again, Todd thought, suddenly feeling justified, Dirk invaded his personal space and time constantly. Perhaps it was time for Todd to make his presence known in Dirk Gently's life.

Before he could second-guess himself, Todd left his room and stood awkwardly outside in the corridor before making an effort to calm his slightly-too-heavy breathing and knocking on his neighbour's door.

Before his second knock even landed on the door, he was roughly turned and shoved into the wall between their doors, a hand over his mouth.

“Don't scream,” said the person who had manhandled him. What was happening. This was not Dirk. This was someone else. A woman with a beautifully fierce face and lots of dark hair piled on top of her head.

Todd looked at her, eyes wide with fear. Is this how he dies? Is this the end?

The woman slowly lowered her hand from Todd's mouth.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, slowly, quietly.

“What?” said Todd, too loudly. His mind was working over-time, trying to understand what was happening right now. “I live here.”

The door to Todd's right opened, making a small bang as it hit the wall. Todd whipped his head to the side, to see Dirk standing in the doorway. He looked wrung-out. Pale.

“Farah,” he said quietly, pleadingly. Sad eyes staring at the woman still holding Todd.

“Get back inside, Dirk,” instructed the woman, Farah, sternly but softly.

“Farah, please,” Dirk continued, even his bright yellow jacket hung limply across his frame.

“Dirk,” Farah said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “You know you're not supposed to-”

“Please just let him go,” said Dirk, more desperately now, moving closer to the two of them. “Don't tell them, please don't tell them.”

Farah stared at Dirk, then turned her head to stare at Todd. She let him go. Todd, not able to back away, stayed very still.

“You're going to get us both in so much trouble, Dirk,” said Farah now, turning to Dirk. “You know they’re already suspicious, it’s amazing they even still let you-”

“Please Farah, he's my friend,” Dirk said, very softly, almost too quietly for Todd to hear.

Farah paused, before saying, “He's seen too much, now. How are you going to explain this?”

Todd felt rather offended now. He was still here, he could still hear everything they were saying.

“I'll sort it out,” swore Dirk, moving slowly to stand between Farah and Todd. “Don't tell anyone. If they find out I'll say you didn't know. Please just do this for me, Farah.”

“Ic-Dirk. Dirk Gently, you will be the death of me.”

Farah shot one last defeated look at the two of them before checking her watch and walking swiftly down the corridor and out of sight.

“What. The. Fuck,” said Todd ineloquently.

Dirk turned away, not looking Todd in the eye, making his way back to his room.

“Oh no, no,” continued Todd, grabbing Dirk's shoulder, pretending not to notice the tiny flinch the latter gave, “You need to explain everything, right now.”

“I'm really tired, Todd,” Dirk sighed, not actually moving away from Todd and the hand on his shoulder, though.

“Dirk-!” Todd waved his arm around in a gesture that he hoped encompassed his bewildered feelings towards this situation.

“Do you want to come in?” asked Dirk, finally looking properly at Todd. “I can make us some tea.”

“Tea doesn't solve everything, Dirk,” said Todd, exasperated and confused. He had, however, never actually been invited into Dirk's room before, and Todd felt this was an integral part of figuring out exactly who Dirk Gently was. He followed the other man into the room, that was, at first glance, just a mirror image of his own room.

There was the bed against the wall, the window, the desk and the door into the small shower room. Very bog-standard, realised Todd, almost with disappointment.

A bit too normal, if anything.

Todd suddenly realised that this is not what an inhabited room should look like, a room that had been lived in for a good few months. Where were the...things? Todd agreed that he himself lead a fairly minimalist lifestyle (born out of laziness and a lack of sentimentality), but even he had the odd picture and poster.

Dirk walked sluggishly over to the white kettle that sat on his plain desk, next to a single maths textbook and an hb pencil. As the kettle boiled Dirk pulled out two blue mugs and two teabags, and Todd took the time to take in what he was looking at.

The sheets on the bed were a light, plain grey. The desk lamp was white. This was, Todd realised with a sickening punch to the gut, for all intents and purposes, a fancy prison cell.

The only thing that wasn’t a shade of depressing grey, was the takeaway cup that Todd recalled as the one he brought Dirk’s tea in, sitting on his desk, the bright orange logo facing outwards. Todd stared at it, before slowly turning his eyes back to Dirk.

“Dirk, what-what is going on?” Todd asked, his quiet voice competing with the low sound of the boiling kettle.

“Todd, I-” began Dirk, mechanically pouring the kettle and stirring sugar in with a teaspoon, both coming from the otherwise empty cupboard. Dirk didn't say anything else, evidently second-guessing whatever he was about to say.

He turned to Todd, the mugs of tea in each hand.

Todd noticed the tremor in his hands, making the tea shake precariously. Todd moved forwards and gently took both of the mugs, setting them back down on the desk before grabbing Dirk's upper arms in his grip.

“Dirk,” said Todd, closing his eyes and sighing, before continuing. “Listen, you don't have to explain anything now, I'm sorry.”

Dirk nodded gratefully, staring down at the small space between their feet.

“You should probably take a nap or something, you look exhausted,” said Todd, accepting the fact that he was not going to understand anything right now. That was fine, everyone had secrets. Although Dirk's secrets seemed to be on a whole other terrifying scale, what mattered was that Todd didn't pry. At least, not right now.

Todd heard a quiet sniff.

“Hey,” he said quietly, tentatively placing a hand on Dirk's face to bring it up. Dirk's eyes were red and watery, but no tears spilled over onto his cheeks.

Todd didn't say anything else, just led Dirk over to his bed, helping the guy shrug out of his jacket and kick his shoes off before collapsing backwards onto the grey sheets. Todd fetched the teas, handing one to Dirk and keeping one for himself as he sat himself on the bed next to Dirk.

They drank their teas in silence, leant against the headboard, shoulders nearly touching.

Todd still didn't like the taste of the tea, but the warmth was comforting.

After the empty mugs were discarded on the floor, looking out of place in the otherwise pristine room, Dirk shuffled down to lie flat on his bed. He closed his eyes, weariness overcoming him. Todd watched him for a moment, before moving to the edge of the bed with the intention of leaving Dirk alone.

“You can stay,” said Dirk quietly, “if you want.”

Todd didn't reply, only shifted back to his previous position. Then, after a small amount of hesitation, also lay down fully.

The bed was small, only really ideal for one person.

Todd closed his eyes, the sleep that had evaded him all night finally seeping into his body. This was okay, he thought, he would find out what awful secrets Dirk was keeping from him tomorrow. They both needed to sleep now. 

-

For all intents and purposes, to be honest, this was basically, possibly literally, spooning. 

Todd's sleepy, muddled thoughts caught up to him as he stared straight ahead into the somber coloured room, the heavy weight of another person's arm across his waist. Not just any person either, Todd reminded himself. Dirk. Gently. Not that he knew any other Dirks, reasoned Todd. Fairly unusual name. Or perhaps it wasn't, and Todd had just not met very many people. This was highly likely. 

His thoughts were getting away from the situation at hand.

The spooning. 

Then Todd remembered what had happened earlier that morning. That should be a more pressing thought; Dirk was obviously involved in something very serious and very dangerous. Higher powers were certainly involved here. 

Dirk shifted slightly, and his thoughts once again centered background to the current, physical, situation. The spooning, that is. 

Todd had never spooned anyone before, and he wasn't sure what it meant, really. And even if he was sure, it was entirely likely that Dirk had a different understanding of such physical closeness anyway. 

Todd's head hurt. 

“Todd?” Dirk's voice was timid, wavering in uncertainty. The arm around Todd's waist was retracted, which was quite disappointing. 

Todd turned over to his other side, a rather awkward maneuver on the small single bed, until he was facing Dirk. Dirk's face was mostly emotionless, perhaps a little bit...fearful?

“Dirk,” Todd replied, voice cracking slightly with sleep, hoping the tone of his voice invited the other man to continue talking. 

“I'm sorry,” Dirk said.

“For what?” asked Todd, though he thought he knew exactly what. 

“Everything.”

There was a small silence. This is where Todd should possibly reassure Dirk that everything was fine, probably, and they would sort it out together. The kind of thing friends would say to each other. 

“Okay,” was all Todd said instead. He was still very confused and, possibly, a little frustrated. Not sexually, he suddenly thought, a blush rising to his cheeks very, very quickly and hurriedly pushing that invasive and embarrassing thought away. Frustrated at the situation, and frustrated that he actually didn't know anything at all about Dirk. 

“You should probably leave,” Dirk mumbled now, dropping his eyes from Todd's to stare intently at the folds of duvet between them. “I'll be taken away and you can pretend this never happened, and they won't find out about you and you'll be safe.”

“Safe?” echoed Todd. “From what? From who?”

Dirk now moved his gaze up to the ceiling. 

“What? You can't tell me? Is that it?” Todd hurled the questions at Dirk, maybe a little too roughly. 

“Yes.”

“Well that's stupid, Dirk,” spluttered Todd, wishing there was more room to gesture to enhance his frustration. “I already know something weird is happening. You might as well tell me.”

“I'm scared...” Dirk trailed off. 

“You're scared? Of them?” Todd had no idea who they were. 

“I'm scared...that you will leave.”

That shut Todd up. 

Dirk was so awfully honest and bare about his feelings. Laying them out for everyone to see. So very much the opposite of Todd. 

“I won't leave,” said Todd, although he wasn't entirely sure how much he believed that statement, and the look that Dirk threw him showed he didn't believe it either. “I won't,” repeated Todd, more fiercely, trying, for once, to be genuine and compassionate. He was pretty sure it came out more petulant than anything else, though.

“I don't really understand anything,” Dirk admitted, quietly. 

“What do you mean?”

Dirk sighed, rolling over onto his back, eyes focused on the white ceiling once again.

“I just do as I'm told,” Dirk spoke, quietly. “I didn't realise that...that might not be what's best...for me, I mean.” Dirk pressed his eyes closed tightly, eyebrows furrowed. With anger? Confusion? It was hard to tell. 

“I didn't realise until I met you,” continued Dirk. “I thought everyone was just like me, but I think that's wrong. I think...I'm wrong.” 

Todd didn't say anything, wanting Dirk to continue. His heart was beating heavily as he listened to every word.

“I wasn't supposed to talk to anyone,” Dirk said, a small smile now finding its way onto his face. “I always did what I was told, but I was just so excited to make a real friend. And you were right there, and so nice to look at, and speak to.”

“I was so rude to you, though,” Todd said now, remembering their first few meetings.

“Were you?” Dirk turned his head, looking at Todd with a strange, muted, happy confusion. 

Todd nodded, pillow rustling slightly under his cheek. 

“Oh...”

“I'm sorry,” said Todd, slightly stilted, “for that.”

“That's okay.”

“You can...carry on,” encouraged Todd, softly, “with the story, I mean.”

Dirk nodded, moving his head back to look straight ahead, as though he was distancing himself from the situation. His words were emotionless, now. 

“I'm not sure why I'm here, I mean, they didn't tell me exactly why. Thinking about it, it was quite risky. I think...I think they thought I was too stupid to realise what was happening back at...” Here Dirk made a small hand gesture, a general sweeping, as though he couldn't bring himself to say the word. “And I was. I had no idea. They didn't factor in one small detail that would knock everything off balance. That's you, by the way.”

Todd frowned, still very much not understanding anything at all, really. 

“I also think they were running out of money and this was one last attempt to prove...something, I don't know. I don't know anything, anymore.” 

Dirk stopped talking. The silence was heavy with so many questions that Todd wanted to ask. Mainly, what the actual fuck is actually going on here?

This was the most bizarre moment of Todd's previously, evidently, boring existence. 

“So what happens now?” asked Todd, instead. 

“I don't know.”

“Oh.”

“I suppose they'll figure out that I've broken their rules, they always find out, and then they'll take me back.”

“Oh.”

“Don't worry, I won't let them harm you.”

“That's not,” Todd said, taking a deep breath, “that's not what I'm worried about.”

Dirk turned his head again, looking Todd solidly in the eyes. He held more certainty to him now.

“They are not going to touch you, I won't let them. I won't let them, I promise,” Dirk said, ignoring Todd's comment. 

Dirk turned fully onto his side. They were very close now, almost nose to nose. Dirk had a nice nose, thought Todd absently. 

“I wish we could run away,” said Dirk. 

Todd still knew next to nothing about whatever shit was going down, had no idea who Dirk was and who these supposed 'baddies' were, but he knew one thing. He would quite possibly, absolutely, run away with Dirk. 

He was always, very much, a running away kind of person. Mostly from emotional and metaphorical situations, but, he supposed, he could upgrade to running away from physical problems as well. Even if they weren't his own. Even if it was for someone else, someone he probably (definitely) cared about.

"You're so lovely," Dirk said, almost a whisper. 

Todd frowned, there were many things he definitely was, and 'lovely' was not one of them. Agreeable, perhaps, at a stretch. Mediocre, maybe. Underwhelming, definitely. 

Dirk pushed his face even closer to Todd's, so that their foreheads touched.

Todd's heart was in his throat. His skin felt suddenly very clammy, which was entirely unattractive and not at all what he should be focusing on in this moment. 

He was acutely aware of what should happen next according to all the films he had ever watched. Todd wondered if Dirk was reading this situation in the same way that he was. Perhaps Dirk was just taking comfort from their closeness. He was a weird bloke, maybe he always pressed his face against other people's faces. 

The room was so still and quiet. Todd couldn't quite decide whether the silence was awkward or not. Maybe he should just focus on the moment instead. 

The silence was distracting though. There wasn't a single sound and Todd felt the need to fidget, to do something. In a sudden moment of restlessness and lack of judgement Todd pushed forward through that last bit of space between them and softly and quickly pressed his mouth to Dirk's.

Todd's immediate self-preservation kicked in and he pulled back a bit too viciously, falling off the side of the small bed in the process. He hit the floor with a thump and an 'oof'. 

Todd lay limply on the floor, staring at the ceiling as he replayed the last few seconds in his head. This could have gone on for a fair while, if it weren't for Dirk cautiously poking his head over the side to stare down at him, mouth open in soft surprise. 

They looked at eachother for a moment, the lump in Todd's throat had never been so pressingly there. 

Then Dirk's expression shifted into one of restrained delight and a small laugh escaped him. He pressed a hand to his mouth, whether to keep the laughter in or to hide the wide smile on his face, Todd wasn't sure. 

“Sorry,” mumbled Todd, sitting up and pretending to fix his hair to avoid the potentially momentous awkward moment.

“I assure you, Todd, you have nothing to apologise for,” replied Dirk, nodding his head with certainty. It was such a Dirk-like movement that Todd almost forgot things weren’t back to normal.

It was quiet again. Ah, there was that awkward silence Todd had been waiting for.

Todd looked back up at Dirk, from where he still sat on the floor, only to find Dirk staring right back, a look of, what can only be described as, pure adoration slapped across his face. Then quite suddenly, his face changed to something more melancholy and he retreated to lie back down on his bed.

“I’m going to be so very sad to leave you,” came Dirk’s voice, so small.

“Then don’t leave,” said Todd, with an air of naivety that he wished wasn’t there.

Dirk moved again, in the restless nature that Todd was now used to, and came to sit down, cross legged, on the floor in front of Todd, who had yet to move.

“Can I kiss you?”

The question caught Todd off guard, he was somehow still unprepared for Dirk’s casual bluntness. As a result, Todd just sat there staring at the other boy, vacantly.

“I think it’s only fair,” reasoned Dirk now, gesturing with his skinny hands, “After all, you did kiss me.”

Todd continued to stare, partially in disbelief, partially in fondness, but mostly because he wasn’t quite sure how to fully articulate that, yes, that would be fine and actually quite fantastic.

Todd realised that Dirk was still talking. Something about the balance of relationships and reciprocated affection. With his words not working, Todd decided action would be the only sensible step. So Todd leant forwards and kissed Dirk, again, right on his stupid mouth.

Dirk broke it immediately.

“No, no,” protested Dirk, so seriously that Todd thought perhaps he was a terrible kisser and he had just ruined everything. “It’s my turn. Honestly, haven’t you been listening?”

“Er-” said Todd, entirely ineloquently, leaning back again.

“Thank you,” said Dirk, his irritation at the situation was adorable, Todd decided.

This was when all thought was cut off because Dirk had gently, oh so gently, put both of his hands on his face, just where his jaw met his neck.

This kiss was longer, nicer.

“You have stubble,” Dirk mumbled, interrupting the kiss.

“Sorry.”

“It’s like sandpaper.”

“You’re just being rude now.”

“It’s true though! Has no one else ever complained?”

“Unsurprisingly, I haven’t kissed that many people,” admitted Todd.

“Oh.”

“No one I actually cared about, anyway.”

“Oh,” Dirk repeated, now smiling, a little smugly. 

They sat in silence for a moment, just smiling at each other. 

Todd’s stomach grumbled. What time was it, he had no idea. They’d napped most of the day away, and now he didn’t really want to leave. 

“You should get something to eat,” reasoned Dirk.

“I’m fine,” replied Todd, he was definitely not planning to leave Dirk right now.

“You haven’t eaten all day, don’t be silly.”

Todd realised that meant that Dirk had also not eaten all day.

“I can go grab a sandwich from the canteen, I’ll get one for you too.” 

“Okay,” said Dirk, a small smile. 

“I’ll come right back,” promised Todd, rising to his feet before turning back to the boy still sat on the floor. “Don’t leave.”

“Okay.”

“I’m fucking serious, Dirk,” said Todd now, the idea of coming back to an empty room was an unfavourable situation. “I’ll be five minutes.”

It was possibly the longest five minutes of his life. The sandwich queue was unreasonably long, it was dinner time, Todd realised, looking at his watch in surprise. He knew frustratingly little about the entire situation, but he knew for certain that something big was about to happen. Dirk seemed to have accepted the fact that he was leaving, somehow or another, and Todd couldn’t let that happen. 

His feelings were far too big, bigger than anything Todd had felt before, and it was unfamiliar and a little scary. 

He wanted to talk to Amanda. 

But she couldn’t know about all the other shit. 

Todd tapped his foot with impatience, looking down the slow-moving queue with a frown to his brow.

“Todd!” came a girl’s voice, moving closer.

“Paula,” replied Todd with a strained politeness. 

“Where’s your shadow?” she asked with a laugh. It seemed forced. This girl needed to leave.

“What?”

“Dirk Gently,” she replied, moving with him as he stepped forward in the queue. “Isn’t he, like, your new best friend?”

“Why does it matter?” asked Todd, finally turning to face her. 

There she was, bun a little messier than usual. She was texting someone on her phone. She locked it and put it away as soon as Todd glanced at it. 

“No reason, just trying to be friendly, I’ll see you later, Todd,” she said, all in one breath. She then turned and left. She was a strange one. How did Todd manage to find himself surrounded by weirdos.

Todd eventually managed to get to the till to pay for the sandwiches. They were boring and somewhat overpriced, but that wasn’t really a priority on his personal concerns list at the moment. He hoped Dirk liked ham and cheese.

He was slightly out of breath when he got back to the room. When was the last time he did actual exercise? Todd decided not to think about that.

The door wasn’t fully closed.

Todd’s heart rose to his throat.

He pushed the door open, his hand shaking on the handle. 

The room was empty.

Todd hurled the sandwiches to one side, running into the room to check the bathroom, under the covers, even out the fucking window.

“Shit,” he whispered, mind whirring. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Why did bad things happen. He had had this good thing for literally a few hours before it was taken from him. Another sign from the universe that he was just meant to be unhappy. Todd realised how selfish this sounded, making himself focus on the situation at hand.

They, whoever they were, had taken him. 

Didn’t Dirk say that was going to happen? Why hadn’t he taken the situation more seriously? Stupid, stupid Dirk. Stupid, stupid Todd. 

Todd stumbled out the room, intending to search his own room before making any rash decisions. That plan was taken out of his hands as he literally ran into someone.

“Farah!” Todd nearly screamed at her. In relief? In fear? It had yet to be established whether she was on their side or their side.

“Todd,” said Farah, speaking quietly and quickly. “We need to leave, they’ve taken Dirk, but I have reason to believe that there is a fairly large chance that we can save him.”

“Save him?” repeated Todd. This was definitely a good idea.

“Yes,” confirmed Farah. “I may need...assistance. Only if you are willing to assist, of course.”

“Yes,” said Todd, nodding to emphasise his willingness to assist. “Yes, absolutely.”

Without another word Farah grabbed his arm and started a brisk walk-almost run down the corridor. Todd followed her, ignoring the niggling realisation that this was potentially not the best idea, and he didn’t actually know who Farah was, let alone these ‘baddies’ that had supposedly taken Dirk. Dirk. That was the only thing on Todd’s mind. Save Dirk.

They took a weird roundabout way out, behind buildings and through the emptier parts of the campus, until they reached the back car park. 

It was dark now, which made the entire situation seem scarier. Todd pretended he was fine, he was good at that, and followed Farah to an unassuming, but obviously expensive, slick black car.

“Woah,” mumbled Todd as Farah gestured for him to get in.

“It’s...a company car, I suppose you could say,” said Farah in way of an explanation, awkwardly shrugging. “We’ll be able to get closer the longer I pretend to stay on their side.”

The car was, by far, the fanciest thing Todd had ever been near, let alone been allowed to get in. There were far too many buttons, why did a car need to do all of these things? His car still had manual roll down windows.

Farah drove swiftly out of the campus and onto the main road.

“How far is it?” asked Todd, his voice louder than he meant it to be, the engine was unnaturally quiet and the silence of the car was a strange juxtaposition to the noise of his blood racing in his ears.

“Far enough,” was Farah’s reply. Well, that was cryptic at all. Todd stared at her, hoping perhaps she would elaborate. The proceeding silence hinted that no, that was all the information Todd was going to get. 

“Can I ask a question? Well, maybe a couple of questions?”

“Okay,” replied Farah, wearily. 

“Who is it? The ones that have taken Dirk? Are they the ones that take him every weekend?”

“You really don’t know anything do you?”

“No!” huffed out Todd, slouching back in his seat with annoyance.

“That’s good,” said Farah. “That’s probably how you guys managed to last so long without them noticing. I mean, you gave him alcohol, and weed, for fucks sake. How in the hell you-”

“Without who noticing?” pressed Todd.

“Okay,” conceded Farah with a deep breath, briefly putting her hands up in defeat, before putting them back onto the steering wheel.

Todd steeled himself, ready to take in all the information that he had been missing these past months. 

“Blackwing. They’re the ones that have Dirk. Well, they’ve had him for a while now.”

“Blackwing?” repeated Todd, eyebrows high.

Farah gave him a look, a ‘shut up and listen’ kind of look.

“Sorry,” said Todd, pressing his lips together and staring out the front window at the road racing underneath them.

“They took Dirk in when he was just a kid, he was...special. They were interested in him, the way his brain works. They found others too, others like him.” Farah paused. Todd tried to read in between the lines, what she was implying but not saying. “It was a promising project, I’m told. They had lots of money for research and hiring employees; scientists, physcologists, security.”

“Is that you? Security?”

“Yes,” replied Farah, ignoring the fact that he interrupted again. “I was promoted to body guard just before Dirk was told he was going to University.”

“Why did he go to university? How is that benefitting…’Blackwing’?”

“Well, as I said, they had lots of money at the beginning, enough to keep researching without needing to produce results. Recently, however, the government, the higher-ups, whoever, realised they were pumping all this money into an organisation that was getting nowhere. So they were given an ultimatum. Produce results or be shut down.”

Todd’s stomach growled. There was a small pause, Todd coughed and mumbled out an embarrassed apology. 

“Anyway, so they panicked a little. They ‘accidentally’ let some of the ‘projects’ escape, lord knows where they are now, and used their last bit of money to send Dirk to university.”

“But, why?” asked Todd. “How does that help?”

“They thought perhaps broadening his mind on something purely academical would encourage development in their research, I think. I was never told explicitly. So they gave him maths. No cultural or social knowledge needed. They sent him away to study for the week, then brought him back to the lab for…‘researching’...at the weekends.” The last sentence was said hesitantly. 

“‘Researching’?” repeated Todd. “What do you mean by that?”

Farah ignored him. “They gave him specific instructions. Not to involve himself in social affairs. No friends, study groups, nothing. Just classes, lectures and then more studying in his room. Dirk was ecstatic that he even got that.”

“But…” Todd started to say, not sure how he was going to continue.

“But. But then he found you. Almost immediately, I’m lead to believe.” Farah cast him a glance. Was that fondness? “Again, how he managed to keep it secret from them this long, I don’t know.”

“Thanks to you, probably?” said Todd, remembering his last and only other encounter with her. 

“Probably.”

“Thank you,” reiterated Todd, meaning it.

“Dirk’s a good guy, I felt...sorry for him.”

“So, how do we save him?” asked Todd. His imagination produced an image of the two of them storming into the top secret organisation with sunglasses and multiple guns. Todd didn’t own any sunglasses, he hoped that wasn’t a problem.

“I don’t know.”

“Great, that doesn’t seem hopeless at all.”

Farah sent him a disapproving look.

“As I said, this was their last chance to save the entire project. And it failed, pretty much. They might just give him to us,” said Farah, with a small shrug.

They were both silent for the rest of the drive. Todd mulling over everything he had just been told. Many things now made sense. It was a fairly surreal situation, Todd wasn’t entirely convinced this wasn’t just an elaborate scheme to kidnap him. 

-

“This is it,” breathed Farah. 

Todd jerked upright from where he had been dozing off against the window. He squinted to look outside. There were some big bins and a couple of lorries, all stood by a brick building, and some more brick buildings. 

“It doesn’t look like a top secret research lab,” commented Todd, almost disappointed.

“Firstly, if it looked like a top secret research lab, then people would know it was a top secret research lab and it wouldn’t be so top secret. Secondly, this is a back entrance.”

“Oh.”

“Come on,” said Farah, opening the car door.

“Wait,” said Todd, hurriedly opening his own door. 

“Shh.”

“What’s the plan?” asked Todd in a slightly panicked whisper.

“Just follow me.”

Todd was left with little other choice as Farah swiftly walked up to a small but sturdy-looking metal door that lead into the main brick building. She pulled out a key card from her pocket. Along with a gun.

“Jesus! You have a gun?” hissed Todd.

“Of course I do. Now shut up.”

She swiped the card, making the door beep loudly, too loudly, and click open. Farah pushed it slowly, glancing around before opening it enough to let Todd through. The corridor was dark and empty. The walls and floor were white and bare.

They walked slowly, each footstep making only the smallest of noises, until the faint sound of voices reached their ears. Farah pressed herself flat against the wall, Todd following suit. 

“-supposed to do now?” said the first voice, quiet but urgent.

“Can’t we just leave Icarus here?” said the second voice, which almost sounded familiar. 

“And get fired?”

“There’s not going to be a job to get fired from, idiot.”

The two voices walked past the end of their corridor. Todd did recognise one of them, the realisation of which made him gasp. Farah turned to him in alarm, placing her gun up to her lips in a ‘shh’ gesture.

“Sorry,” mouthed Todd, still reeling. He watched the two figures pass, the recognisable bun bouncing out of view. 

“What was that about?” whispered Farah, once they had left.

“That girl was on my course,” said Todd quietly in disbelief. 

“Oh, quite possibly,” agreed Farah. “They had a couple of people posted within the university to keep an eye on Dirk.”

That also explained a lot. Todd wishes people would just tell him everything, and stop leaving crucial information out. At this point he just felt foolish. He was on a rescue mission and he didn’t even know where he was, not really. 

“Come on, Dirk is this way.”

-

Dirk was indeed that way. In a fucking cell. Or a room. Todd wasn’t sure.

There were two guards outside the room. Farah approached and knocked them both out with the heel of the gun with minimal effort. The scuffle had obviously made some noise, so they both waited, listening, before stepping over the bodies to get at the door to the room.

There were windows all along the side of his small room, and there he was on the bed, curled up very small. Rage boiled up inside Todd.

“How do we get him out?” he demanded, turning to Farah. 

Farah handed him a secondary key card. “I’ll stay here and keep an eye out.” She put both hands on her gun and stood with her back to the wall, eyes flicking down each way of the corridor they were stood in.

Todd swiped the key card with shaking fingers. 

“Dirk?” he called out softly, approaching the still figure.

Todd reached out to touch his shoulder. Dirk stirred, just enough to flinch away from the touch. Todd’s heart clenched. 

How did this happen. He was just an unfulfilled English Lit student, why was he here saving the only boy he ever cared about. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. The need to get Dirk out of there was overpowering.

“Dirk?” Todd repeated. “It’s just me.”

Dirk opened his eyes, staring hazily ahead, not focusing. He didn’t move.

“Dirk, we need to leave, now.”

“Todd,” said Dirk carefully, mouth barely moving. “Fnnnshhmmm…” Dirk’s eyes closed again.

“Okay,” said Todd, more to himself than Dirk. He took a deep breath. He leant forwards and pressed a kiss against Dirk’s cold cheek. “It’s going to be okay.”

He turned to motion to Farah through the window. But there was no window, only a mirror stretching from one wall to another. Oh, it was a two-way mirror thing, is that what they’re called? Todd wasn’t sure.

Farah could see Todd though, and poked her head in.

“They’ve fucking sedated him, fuck,” she said, taking in the scene before her. She considered for a moment before saying, “we’ll have to carry him out.”

“What?” squealed Todd. “I am definitely not that strong.”

“No, but I am.”

In one, slightly terrifying, movement, Farah placed her gun in Todd’s hands and slung Dirk’s thin frame over her shoulders. Todd stared at the gun in his hands. The metal was warm. His heart raced. This was an actual gun. In the hands of an English Lit student. Okay.

“Don’t shoot it,” said Farah.

“Well, obviously,” spluttered Todd.

“Just hold it. For protection, you understand.”

Todd nodded. 

“Okay, let’s go.” 

Farah lead the way from the room.

“This is lax security, even taking the current situation into consideration,” Farah was mumbling, to Todd? To herself? “Something must have happened.”

They walked back the way they came. Everything was still silent and mostly dark. 

“Was Dirk the only…’project’ left?” asked Todd quietly, looking into the empty rooms they passed. Some of them were identical to the one that Dirk had been in.

“Pretty much,” confirmed Farah.

“Shit,” Todd breathed. “This place is awful.”

They got to the door, Farah indicating to Todd to reach the keycard in her pocket. Todd managed to do so with minimal awkwardness. The walk to the car seemed to take far too long. The cold air biting at Todd’s hands where he still clutched the gun. 

Farah carefully lay Dirk down across the back seats. Considering his position briefly, before reaching across to pull the buckle awkwardly over his horizontal body. Nodding with satisfaction she closed the door and got in the car herself.

Todd followed her lead, giving the gun back to her, trying to hide his distaste for the offending object. She smiled curtly at him, knowing, before slotting it back into her ankle holster.

The car swung out the car park, and onto the small, badly-lit road. Farah drove very quickly. 

“Where are we going now?” asked Todd.

“Away from here.”

-

-

-

Todd clicked on the print button with a satisfied huff, a small smile on his face. He stood to collect his essay from the library printer. He had managed to persuade his tutor to let him write the essay on the songs and musical aspect present in a lot of Shakespeare’s plays. It still wasn’t quite what he wanted to do, but it was a lot closer than it had been. 

Just as he shuffled the papers into an organised pile he got a text through to his phone.

Have you finished your essay yet? I’m waiting in the usual spot.

Todd grinned at his phone, carefully putting his beautiful essay in his bag before logging out of the computer and making a hasty retreat from the library.

omw  
He shoved his phone in his pocket and walked to a coffee shop he now knew very well. The bell above the door tinkled as he came in, immediately spotting his favourite face at the back of the room.

“That hat is ridiculous,” said Todd with laugh, kissing the other boy noisily before sitting down at the table. 

“Shush! This is my disguise,” announced Dirk, adjusting the baseball cap which had a grinning gorilla face on the top bit, it’s eyes sticking up from the actual hat.

“Yeah, it’s subtle,” agreed Todd with too much sarcasm.

“I got you your boring coffee,” said Dirk, gesturing to the cup on the table in front of where Todd now sat.

“Thank you.”

“Boring, boring coffee.”

“Shut up, Dirk, at least I’ll still have teeth when I die,” retorted Todd, indicating Dirk’s drink that was actually overflowing with whipped cream, eyebrow raised.

“It’s a hot chocolate, it’s supposed to have cream on top.”

“Anyway, I’ve been meaning to say,” Todd started, leaning forward over the table. “Do you think we should switch our coffee shop to a different one? I’m worried people will recognise you.”

“That’s what the hat is for, Todd,” said Dirk with an exaggerated eye roll. 

“I’m serious…”

Dirk looked at Todd, took in his little puppy-dog sadface, and sighed. “Fine, I’ll find somewhere else for next time.”

“Thank you,” said Todd, his smile a little sheepish. 

“Anything for you,” sang Dirk, to which Todd blushed a little. “I can’t promise it will be as good as this one though. This is where you bought the tea for me and when our friendship was solidified.”

“Is that how friendships are solidified? Through tea?”

“Absolutely,” agreed Dirk, completely seriously. So British. 

 

Todd smiled into his boring coffee. How did this happen? How did he get so lucky? This was very unlike his life, to go the way he wanted. Maybe it was time he deserved some happiness, he was allowed that, right?

“How’s Farah’s secret safe house?” asked Todd.

“It’s nice. How’s your course going? You seemed pretty excited by your last essay title.”

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

Everything was pretty nice. For now at least. And Todd was allowed to enjoy the for now.

-

 

 

Hello! Thank you so much for reading, I had such a good time writing this! I'm also dirrrk on tumblr, if anyone loves me that much.

Check out the beautiful art by prose-n-scripts on tumblr. It's honestly so beautiful.


End file.
